6 degrees of separation is now 3

It's 1:30am and I'm wide awake.  In case you care, it's probably because I drank espresso at 10:30pm.  Here I lay, in bed,  refusing to get up because  I know, if I open my Bedroom door, my adorable 5 month shi tzu will most likely wake up and take control of the house.  I'm sure I set that dysfunctional precedence of tip toeing around the dog after he goes to sleep. This after having 2 kids, now in college.  Lesson here...don't listen to anything I say.  Most of the time I don't know shit, and sometimes I bullshit.

I am here, laying in bed, eyes wide open in the dark, my husband snoring next to me.  I am left with 2 options...wake him up for a quickie or go on Facebook...You guessed right.

I am on FB stalking my friends pages, clicking on their friend's pages, looking at their pictures and comments.  It's a free for all.  Everyone of my friends will have 1 or 2 people that I have a mutual friend with.  A girl I went to middle school with, in a different town, whom now is living in another country, but somehow is  friends with someone in my current town,  a friend has a mutual friend with my husband's cousin's wife, to a mutual friend from another town of a parent of  a kid that my kids  went to high school with.  The list goes on. 

And although I have single child syndrome,  looks  like this circle of connections is not just happening in my world.  The web's top 5 five social media sites, did a study on a friend of a friend connection  proving that social media is less than 6 degrees of separation.  These sites averaged anywhere from 4 to 7 degrees of separation and while I'm no actuary, when I averaged out those numbers I got 4.2.  So where did I come up with 3 degrees of separation...

Posted on November 24th 2011
From ~ 6 Degrees of Separation? Now It's Only 3, Thanks to Facebook...

The argument is, everyone is linked to each other via friends, family, co-worker and acquaintances, you are somehow 6 people away from knowing someone. But new research has said that it may now be nearly half that at only 3.74 degrees

The experiment  used the social network data of 721 million members.  They were able to examine and crunch the data and conclude that social media had in fact, nearly slashed the 6 degree rule in half.

The Statistics
Although Facebook caps the amount of friends you can have to 5,000, they found that the median was only 100 friends or 0.000014% of Facebook's users.
99.6% of these 100 people were connected by 5 degrees and 92% were connected by 4 degrees.
The average distance between any two users was 3.74 degrees

So with this said...be careful what you post to social media sites.   Not just because of big brother but also your friend or friend of a friend's cousin.

T

Pretty Hair, Food Stamps and Ginger Ale

Last week I met a woman who told me she was on food stamps.  I don’t even remember her name, the sad woman with pretty  hair.  She told me her husband lost his job, he couldn't find another job, she couldn't pay her car insurance, it was going to get canceled, and then she wouldn't be able to commute to work.  I couldn't believe she was telling a total stranger on line at the post office something so personal.  I was touched by her honesty; I could never be that open about my life.  I can't even tell my friends/family that my kids sometimes curse me out, let alone have that much transparency about a hardship.  I didn't know how to handle what she was telling me.  I wanted to help.  Was she reaching out? Would she be offended if I offered her $20 bucks?  I asked her if there was anything I could do to help.  She politely said no, I gave her my email and told her if she needed anything to let me know.

 I was  touched by her struggle and what she told me about food stamps, how difficult it was for her to budget her weekly grocery bill for a family of four.  I needed to do something...what?  Maybe I would mirror her budget for a couple of  weeks.  I would budget my food bill on what a family of four gets in food stamps.  See if my family of four could do it.  Teach my kids this woman's reality... As I'm holding a tall caramel macchiato, $3.65...disgusted.
 
I looked online for information about food stamps.  The program is called SNAP,  Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Plan. Per USDA's food and nutrition website, the average monthly snap benefit is $133.85 per person, about $1.50 per person, per meal.  This brought back memories from when I was first pregnant 20 years ago, we got some help then; It was called WIC.  It paid for formula.  I wish we could get some help now.  But from the looks of it, you have to basically be homeless to get public assistance.  The woman with the pretty hair said  she was getting about $536.00 per month in food stamps.  She was budgeting about $134.00 per week for food for her family of four. 

On Monday I went to my local supermarket, budgeted myself $150.00, after all I needed toilet paper and paper towels.  I bought chopped meat for spaghetti and meatballs and tomato sauce, figured that would last a couple of days. Pasta, butter and chicken cutlet that should last a few more.  I got milk, eggs, no frills bread, pancake mix and no frills syrup, cereal, OJ and Apple Juice.  Paper towels and TP.  The bill was a just a little over $150.00.  I was not going to spend another dime on food.  We would struggle a little bit.  It would be for a cause, a family a lesson.  To make a difference, some good would to come out of the horrible feeling I had for the sad woman with the pretty hair.  I got home and cooked, we would have food in the fridge for the next few days. 
 
By Wednesday my kids were freaking out.  "Mom, there's no food in the house!".  No yogurt, no ice cream, no cookies, no soda, no fruit...."Mom there's nothing to eat!"  … I told them, eat the leftover meatballs or Chicken cutlet.  By the time I got home from work Thursday my husband had gone food shopping.  Seems there was nothing to eat in the house. (condescending).  He got drinks, hamburgers, cold cuts, ice cream, cookies and fruit.  He spent $200.00.  There it was, like a mystical number,  his $200 combined with my $150 spent earlier was what I usually spend every week; About $350 dollars on groceries, for a family of four per week.  Are we the norm?  How was the woman with the pretty hair cutting it. 

As I'm talking to my husband about how sad I felt for that family, I opened a small can of Ginger Ale, took a couple of sips, and put it down on my nightstand.  Next morning I woke up, and threw out the half empty can.  As I'm tossing out the can, I thought about the woman with the pretty hair, her hardship and the Ginger Ale...excess, the left overs and Starbucks. Will  I ever be able to drink Ginger Ale again…disgusted. 

 
XO
Teresa

 

Happy Intl. Women's day to all the sisters

 

In Honor of International Women's day, here's a picture of my Kwan Yin statuettes.  The female Buddha, she represents compassion, love and beauty.  I love her! 

 

International Women's Day is a holiday celebrated worldwide, honoring women's struggles.  In March 8th 1857, garment workers in NYC protested, and picketed demanding better working conditions and equal rights for women.  Decades later in 1908 their sisters in the needle trade marched (hope they were wearing nice shoes) protesting child labor and an end to sweatshops.  A couple of years later it was proposed that March 8th  be International Women's Day, honoring working women worldwide.

 

Women have come so far, yet just in the recent news was Yahoo's CEO Marrissa Mayer's decision to stop its remote work policy. This sparked huge controversy, with some saying it was a step back for women.   And still today women of all ages and ethnic background are shortchanged, with men earning 15 to 40 percent more.  Some reports say this is because men choose higher paying jobs like engineering while women go into social service and education, and then take time off to raise children, etc.  So decades after our sisters marched and picketed we still have many of the same struggles.  You've come a long way baby. (or have you?)  

 

Wising all the sisters a Happy International Women's Day!

 

xo
Teresa

A hot pair of shoes solves everything

Last week I was looking through Banana and Jcrew catalogues for style inspirations,  ideas for outfits for my upcoming vacation.  Then over the weekend I looked through the Chicos mailer.  I cut out pictures of some of the outfits, made some notes.  Then I went shopping, I  hit TJ Max, Marshalls and Forever 21, and spent a quarter of what I would have spent in Banana and Jcrew.   

When I got home I thought I’d blog about it.  I would write about my packing OCDs, my outfits of the day, which styles inspired me and my cheaper versions.  It would be perfect!   But of course , my dear Mother who’s staying with us for a couple of months threw out my ripped pages from the magazines while I was at work.  My outfit inspirations…What!  I had a plan, I was going to scan those pictures, take pictures of my outfits and blog about it …my whole blog revolved around this!

In a second I was in 1985 all over again, my mother would come into my room clean it, and literally throw everything out.  Probably her way of teaching me to clean my room…”if it’s on the floor, I’m throwing it out, so you better put it away”.  This would include papers, make up, anything loose that was on the floor, it was history.  Things would just disappear.  Did this make me clean my room…Uhh no.  I never cleaned my room.  What a screwed up cycle, it went on for years. 

My dear Mom she is the sweetest thing, but she throws everything away.  You leave it on the counter and walk away for a couple of hours, when you come back, I assure you it will be gone.   So here I am, in my 40’s with a family of my own, a life of my own, and my own OCDs and idiosyncrasies.  In a second I’m brought back to the insecurities, uncertainty and vulnerabilities of my teen years.     

My Mommy…  what now?  Do I tell her... it’s my house, how dare she throw my stuff away... 

What did I do.  I brought her to Starbucks.  Yes, Starbucks.  You see my parents have been staying with us a couple of months, We’re all going on a family vacation in a few weeks.  Then they’re going back to their place in Portugal.  We probably won’t see them until maybe Christmas.  Sounds sad right?  So after Starbucks I bought her a pair of shoes for our vaca!  Aren’t they hot?

 

 

 

 

 

Yes a pair of Ann Klein shoes solved everything...

 

XO

Teresa

The “C” word, it’s everywhere

Today I called Sylvia from the Designer Workroom, wanting to let her know I was getting ready to order fabric for chairs, told her about the sidemark, to expect the fabric and the purchase order next week.  We did our normal small talk.  You know, how’s everything? How’s the family.  I told her that maybe I would write about her in my next blog.  I’ve been thinking of writing how the economy has affected workrooms in New York.  Little did I know what was coming next.  I said maybe I’ll stop by next week.  Then, awkward silence;  and she said, “early next week I’m having a few treatments done, and I get very tired afterwards, but Friday is good”.  So I start with my questions… Sylvia, everything ok?  You alright?

One day Sylvia noticed a little bit of blood, went to the doctor, had a sonogram,  then an MRI and was told  her uterus wall was a little thick.  Some of us have heard these words from our GYNs.  She had a DNC, then an ablasion.  When they sent the results to the lab they found the big “C”, Ovarian Cancer.  That’s it, just like that….speechless.  Sylvia would be high risk for surgery so the only option is radiation.  Devastation. 

I’ve been dealing with GYN problems and might need more surgery.  It was so scary to hear the “C” word come from Sylvia’s mouth.  I told her to be strong and that I would pray for her.  She sounded very optimistic.  The thought of her optimism makes me smile right now.  But Sylvia’s words keep playing in my head.  “Cancer is everywhere”, she said “everyone that I ever lost was from Cancer”.  She said she has no pain, just the treatments are very painful, but there’s a big chance of full recovery, and having had a PAP every year helped detect it early.  Sylvia is taking it head on and being strong.   I can relate a little bit to loosing people from the “C” word.  And if there’s a lesson to be learned from this is that we should keep up with our yearly PAP exams.  Early detection is the key. 

Sylvia told me today, her workroom is open for business and they’re busy.  I urge you to support Sylvia from Designer’s Workroom Services in NY and her workroom.  It’s good to keep her busy.  She is an amazing, talented woman, I've been using her workroom for 10 years and her work is beautiful!

 

Xo,
Teresa

The Big Leagues, Super Bowl and Furniture Market

Many exciting things coming up in the next couple of months. Valentine's Day, my 19 year wedding anniversary, and my family vacation. Me, hubs, the kids and my parents are going on a cruise. How exciting! I could pack today, but even I know packing now is a wee bit too early. 

Speaking of exciting things tomorrow is Super Bowl Sunday.  Although this year we're not too excited about that.  Why you ask?  I’ll quote my 16 year old son “the teams suck this year”.  Personally, I think my son and the hubs are just pissed that the Jets have sucked the last 2 years.  But shhhh, don’t tell them I said that.


With Spring around the corner, soon the weather will be nicer.  A  little more sun, much needed Vitamin D, and hopefully we'll be  a lot less cranky.  With spring,  comes the furniture market. High Point Market this year is running April 20th through the 25th.  It's the biggest furniture market in the galaxy.  With about 2000 showrooms in High Point, North Carolina.  About 12 million sq. feet, and 180 buildings.  About 75,000 people getting inspirations, ideas, checking out new products and planning for next season.  If you love furniture, fashion and decorating, it’s like Christmas on steroids.

 

A long time ago in a galaxy far away I worked for Levitz Furniture.  Market week was the busiest, most fun, and most stressful time of the year.  Meeting with vendors, we were wined and dined.  Picked out new product line, fabric and accessories.  This was the big leagues for me!  I was the Assistant buyer; I worked at Levitz for 10 years.  Of course I started out as a decorator, and moved all the way up the corporate ladder; All the way up to…Assistant Buyer.  And if you think that sounds lame, there’s irony here…when Levitz started going through bankruptcy, and restructuring, many of us, including me were demoted and became Assistants to the Assistant buyers.  Assistants to the assistants…lol

 

We still did all the work, planning, ordering, replenishing, setting up store layout, and vignettes and all the reports.  Come to think of it, I really don’t know what my boss did.  Hopefully furniture stores got a little smarter and figured out that you don’t need to pay salaries to the buyer, the assistant buyer and the assistant to the assistant to buy the furniture line-up.

 

Going to High Point was an amazing experience.  To see the newest looks and plan for the newest trends.  Next, I definitely want to someday go to the Tupelo Market in Mississippi.  Maybe next year, or next galaxy.

 

 

Xo

Teresa

 

 

 

Penne alla Vodka and brownies

A woman at work told me she wanted to whip up something quick for dinner. Did I have any ideas? I told her she should make Penne alla Vodka, she said she didn't know how to make it. What? This woman makes the best brownies ever. Everybody at work loves her brownies. She brings them in on people's birthdays, wedding showers, baby showers. She puts silly little decorative food picks in them, umbrella, feathers...you get the idea.

Nobody knows everything but everybody knows something, and I'm not a fan of keeping recipes a big mystery. I start by heating up the water for the pasta; Hint, by the time the pasta's done, the Vodka sauce will be ready. Cook the Penne pasta according to the directions on the box.  I use Penne Rigatoni.

Some people cook sauce for hours, I'm always in a hurry and the sauce comes out great. In a deep sauce pan sautee a little garlic and oil, then add 1- 8oz can of tomato sauce, I use Hunts. 

Next is a couple of spices.   Add approximately 1 Tbsp. of Basil, 1 Tbsp. of Oregano, I use McCormick's organic. Also 1 Tbsp. of Sugar. I usually "eye" the dried herb spices, just pour it into the palm of your hand, if it looks like it could be 1 Tbsp., it’s good!

Mix it all together, then add 1 pint of heavy cream, I use Tuscan. Then add 1/8 oz. of Vodka, I use Grey Goose.  Bring the sauce to a boil, then simmer on low for 10 min.  Drain the pasta, and add it to the Vodka sauce.  

That's  Penne alla Vodka.  Brownies eat your heart out.

 


Teresa
xo